Drinking Deep

I was amazed while walking through an olive grove in Israel our guide told us that some of the trees we were seeing were around in the time of Jesus. As we walked through the garden it was amazing to see and think about what it must have been like 2,000 years ago. I couldn't help but think of Jesus in the Garden praying to His Father with such passion that He sweat like He was bleeding. I don't know if I have ever connected to that scene in as real a way as the last several weeks (see previous post). A friend told me this morning as I was sharing about my life that I am having my time in the Garden. Which scared me. Who am I to have an experience like that. I don't want to have an experience like that. It didn't sound fun the first time I read it and it didn't look fun in Isreal and it is not fun now that I am living it. I read in Luke "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." My heart is breaking at the weight of life now and I can only imagine at what the literal weight of the world must have felt like on Jesus. This cup is full of something that I fear I can't begin to describe the difficulty of. I will drink. I don't want to, and maybe it is a good thing that I don't know the details of what this cup is full of but I will drink. That night in the Garden so long ago was agonizing and obviously one of the hardest moments in Jesus' life on earth. There are moments in life when all of our talk, all of our teaching and all of our glorious causes come down to "will you?" or "won't you?". Here I am Lord send me.