I asked a question last week, "What made you believe?" My response was many faces unable to articulate an answer. In reflection on this I realize I was asking for a recounting of one moment in a lifetime of moments. How do you pick just one? How can we passionately speak to the reality of God if we struggle to explain our own relationship with Him. This experience may be to personal and intimate to share with those around us. Or could it be hidden doubt about our belief in the experience of relationship.
I love stories. The ability to imagine a world and bring it to life through story fascinates me. Moments in story like Frodo destroying the Ring of Power, Aslan vanquishing the White Witch, or the Italian Stallion defeating Apollo. These stories tug on my heart strings and I stand in awe at man's ability to dream. I also stand in awe of God's ability to trust us with dreaming in light of us being able to dream fantastic tales of goodness and nobility we are also capable of the opposite, tales of horrible destruction and atrocity. And yet within this danger there rests the wonder and never ending possibility to imagine God. A God beyond description who embodies such a glory that I can't even be in His presence. And who embraces such grace that in my ability for evil I can come to Him for salvation. I don't know when my moment was exactly but I think it was when I first was able to imagine a God who loved me and who had a story written for me.
My faith began to grow when the evidence of life began to reveal much more than a string of coincidence. It revealed a desire of a creator to live in community with me. My story is filled with choices, who to marry, how many kids to have, to obey the law, to make the world a better place, to serve the poor, and to love my neighbor. At times I will choose the good in these and at other times I will choose the opposite. But that will not change the desire of God to spend time with me, it will not change His great love and ability to extend grace. This revelation is a culmination of moments, not just one. I think that is how the existence of God comes upon us through a series of moments that lead us to a point where faith happens and we can no longer deny the existence of God.
