Today

I don't know how to describe it. When I am stressed out about planning and other not so important things I get mean. I don't like it. I can feel myself being short with people and saying things that I don't mean or can be taken badly. Why do I get like that? Maybe it is because I am going gray, or maybe it is why I am going gray. I don't know, but it made me think of Matthew 6:34 when Jesus said, "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today."
How can I live like that? After all Outlook and I are intimate, I can't just break up with Bill Gates like that. He won't understand, and I won't be able to plan out my options for when we might get back together. It is the worship of self to be lost in the future while with someone in the present. I fear that I have missed what the Holy Spirit has for me because I am too focused on what might or might not happen in the future. I believe that Jesus wants me to focus on the moments that I am in so that I don't miss opportunities in the here and now. We can't think so much about being Jesus in the future that we forget to be Jesus right now.